Thursday, November 11, 2010

Knitting Sins 1

Oh yes, I have sinned against my yarn, my patterns, and against my tools.  I hope for knitting absolution from the knitting gods. (I have several projects to finish before the holidays, and this is a bad time to have the knitting gods angry with me.)

I have used my knitting needles as a tool for things they were not designed for.  I've used the straights for backscratching, my DPNs as blocking pins, and short circs as stitch holders.  Needles have been used as bookmarks, and been accidentally put away in the book.  I have used needles to grab small things out of nooks and crannies.  I have used a needle as a straight edge to draw a straight line.  I have used them to hold together my gingerbread houses.  (Short DPNs work really well.)   Please give me another chance.  Things will be different.  I promise.

I have done BAD things to my yarn.  I have used fine, hand-made fibers to tie bows on doll hair, make a leash for my daughter's cat, and yes, even donated them to diorama projects.  I have split plies, and cut tangled skeins I should have carefully untied.  I have machine-washed yarns that were not superwash.  I have even used hand-made fibers to make pom poms.  (I'm mortified!)   I don't know what I was thinking. 

I have decided I am smarter than the pattern.  I have taken shortcuts, like using a different cast-on.  I have changed stitch patterns.  I have not corrected my mistakes, and ended up with the hideous garments I deserved.  I have arrogantly changed needle size and yarn weight without doing the math because I thought I could handle it.  (I couldn't.)  I have ignored assembly instructions, turning a perfectly good garment into an Escher cartoon.  I have started projects on  aluminum needles and finished them on plastic.  I have knotted and cut yarn ends instead of weaving them in.  And after these sins, I have blamed the pattern, because it couldn't have been my fault.

I have entitled this post Knitting Sins 1 because I know there are more sins I have committed that I just don't remember right now.  And of course, I know there will be more.  I'll admit them as they come to me, and I hope you'll share some of yours with me, too.  I'll feel less alone. :)


pants said...

If I could think of all the sins I've committed you'd feel like a saint. The highlights:

-using the crappiest yarn out there to make hats for my little nieces (it was before I knew about yarn stores and only went to craft stores--sorry, kids!)

-completely abandoning a gift project to work on something frivolous for myself.

-working all my small diameter projects on the only set of DPNs I own (turns out size 7 does not work for everything--shocking!)

-thinking, "how could I screw up stockinette? I don't need to count!" and needing to bend the laws of physics to fix my mistakes. :/

Liz Marino said...

I feel your pain. Another of my sins is making gloves that were supposed to be a pair in seriously different sizes, which I didn't notice until I was handing them to the recipient. I felt like I was giving her a macaroni necklace!