Sarcasm

Holiday knitting is sometimes more labor than love.  I'm feeling a little sarcastic today, and think that could manifest very well in knitting. Sarcastic gift suggestions follow:

For the folks who have to put on jewelry with everything, make socks with gold yarn and sequins.

For the fashion forward type, obviously something convertible so they can change it at their fashion whim.

For the one who is always cold, a sweater with an inside p-p-pocket for a hot water b-b-bottle.

For the one who is always warm, start a sweater, and give it to them unfinished so they'll never feel obligated to wear it. 

For the shy, I recommend a flesh toned balaclava (ski mask).

For the wine drinker, something in a nice Cabernet (color).  For the beer drinker, something washable in case they spill while excited watching the game.  For both, a little pocket for the Tylenol for the possible impending hangover.

For the couch potato(e for Dan Quayle), a sweater with pockets for remote, phone, and snacks. The design on the front could be the blip line of an EKG, illustrating they still have a pulse.

For the angry curmudgeon type, any garment with a smiley face would be great.  (Gotta love the contrast.)

For the very vain, a hat that looks like their hairstyle so they'll never have to worry about hat-head.

For yourself, a good laugh and a good-natured hug.  Enjoy your holiday knitting projects!